How to know when it’s really over

breakup_albanyeden

Sometimes men just leave you hanging and the only way to know for sure if it’s over is to end it yourself.

10 ways to ensure he will never call you back:

10. The first time he lets you into his home, stake out space in the bathroom and closet and let him know that that is where you intend to leave your belongings “in the future.” Bonus points: identify the items he must throw out in order to make space for your wardrobe.

9. Have the serious relationship talk early on in the dating phase. It goes something like this:
Him: “So I was thinking of ordering the salmon.”
You: “Myra is engaged. Tell me now, do you have any intention of ever marrying me?”

8. Try a dress at a wedding store and send him a photo with the message: “I also found a great suit for you with a cummerbund to match my eye makeup!”

7.  If this is too embarrassing, send him a photo of a diamond engagement ring and say: “You must make about [insert his salary guestimate] per year right? So you could totally get a loan and buy me this!”

6.  Use the Morphing Booth mobile app to see what your baby together would look like and then, on the sly, make the image the wallpaper on both of your mobile phones.

5. Print out his online dating profile he doesn’t think you know about and leave it on the breakfast table.

4. Without discussing it first, change your Facebook relationship status with him to “Engaged.”

3. Hire a private investigator to trail him and then send him the photos taken of him talking to a female colleague, demanding an explanation.

2. Gathering inspiration from the movie Flashdance, if he upsets you, break his window with a rock.

And finally…

1. Write a blog about loser guys and then, with no explanation, send him the link!

– Albany Eden

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Anything to add to this list? Any similar experiences? Please share in the comments!

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